Very few of us are in full control of our lives, make informed decisions and play by our own rules.
We too often do what other people want us to do. Sometimes we blame circumstances and do not believe that they can change something. And often just performed the usual rituals, not even noticing how fly our routine. It’s time to Wake up and take control!
Refrain from forced installations
As a child, we are constantly limited by the words “must” and “must not”. This makes sense, because the child does not always know what is good for him and what behavior is acceptable in society. As adults, we are able to make our own decisions. But usually we continue blindly guided by the guidelines that we were once inspired.
We’re trying to live up to someone’s expectations. And as a result, we choose a profession that we do not like; live in an unloved city; give up our Hobbies; create a family early; take a mortgage, postponing the dream of traveling for later; buy a car on credit, even if we are not eager to drive… Because someone convinced us that it is necessary.
To be happy, you have to go your own way, not live the script written for us by someone else.
Make a list of everything you think you “should” or “shouldn’t” do. Which of these beliefs were imposed on you? Do they correspond to what you really want and what you believe? Allow yourself to get rid of those “must” that lead you on the wrong path.
Check your values
Take the example of Benjamin Franklin. He developed for himself a number of principles (diligence, sincerity, justice, modesty and so on), according to which he wanted to live his life, and every day diligently noted in the “little book” how his behavior corresponded to a particular virtue.
What kind of person do you want to be? What is the most important thing in your life? Make a list of your basic values and periodically check with him (you can hang it on the refrigerator or issue on a separate page in a personal diary). This guide will help you stay true to yourself under any circumstances.
Take responsibility for your life
We tend to blame circumstances, the system, or others for the fact that our lives do not turn out the way we would like them to. To take the first step towards positive change, you need to take control.
The choice is always yours. You can scold your “corporate prison” for years, suffer from a lack of sense or regret that you were born in the wrong city. And you can start to act: to learn another profession, change the format of work, move to where there are more opportunities.
Stop waiting for a miracle or a wizard in a blue helicopter. No one will realize your dreams except you.
Stop waiting for a miracle or a wizard in a blue helicopter. No one will realize your dreams except you. Only you are responsible for your life. People who are aware of this tend to succeed even under the most adverse conditions.
Everyday goad – Improve! Anything you can in your life.
Some people believe that their qualities are unchanged, so any failure is perceived as a stigma: “I’m just not smart enough”, “I Have a terrible character”, “I don’t have enough talent”. Those who think so often give up and become depressed, disappointed in themselves.
But in reality, each of us can change and become better. Ability, intelligence, personality traits lend themselves to development. It’s up to you whether you become the person you want to be.
Learn from your mistakes and failures. Think of them as a basis for self-improvement. Try to realize your potential (it is much more than you think), and not to blame on nature for the fact that it is supposedly something you are short of.
Manage your time wisely
We often spend time on trifles (and not always on our own) — meaningless meetings, other people’s problems, idle conversations, social networks, unpromising projects, small worries, minor assignments. If you think you’re drowning in the chaos of things, stop and think, “What’s really important to me?” Don’t let the frantic pace of modern life completely absorb you.
First of all, take on those tasks that you consider to be priorities. The rest, as a rule, can be ignored or at least postponed for later. Cut off all unnecessary. Don’t spray yourself on a thousand cases. Learn to refuse requests from colleagues and friends if you have other plans. Think first of your interests. And, of course, do not forget about the rest.
Communicate less with unpleasant people
You do not have to tolerate those who cause you negative emotions. Try to reduce the duration and number of meetings with such people. Even if you have to see friends, relatives or colleagues every day, who are getting on your nerves, still contact them as rarely as possible.
During the conversation, evaluate the degree of your irritation on a 10-point scale. If you feel that you have reached five points, politely stop the conversation (for example, referring to urgent matters) and leave.
Spend your free time to communicate with people who give you a sense of joy and peace.
Take care of your health
Listen to the demands of your own body. Get enough sleep, move more, eat well, take time for entertainment. Show love for yourself in every choice you make.
Don’t punish yourself for “imperfection” with exhausting diets and exhausting workouts. Take your body for what it is, even if your figure is different from some standards cultivated in glossy magazines and advertising. In no case do not rely on someone invented ideals.
Physical activity is necessary, but it should lift your mood and bring positive emotions. You can dance, skate, play volleyball or just walk in the Park — and this will be enough to satisfy the daily need for movement.
Physical activity is necessary, but it should lift your mood and bring positive emotions.
Your well-being is much more important than any work, so do not force yourself to work late at the expense of sleep. At night, your body is refreshed at all levels. Muscles and tissues are strengthened. The necessary hormones are synthesized. The brain filters the day’s experience and weeds out mental debris.
Take care of your physical and psychological health. Start with any positive decision (such as going to bed on time). Then add another small change. And more. You will notice that each new step is easier and brings more joy, cheerfulness and inspiration.
Focus on the current moment
To fully control your life, you need to learn to be present “here and now.” We often operate on autopilot, while our mind wanders somewhere very far away. Constantly thinking about some problems, focusing on the past or the future, you can miss all the most important and interesting. Try more often to pay attention to the moment, to notice the pleasant things and enjoy the sensations.
Concentration is also the key to increased productivity. After all, you are much faster and better able to cope with the task, if you fully focus on it, instead of wasting time and effort on fruitless thinking, not related to the case.
Concentration is also required in relationships. You will not establish full contact with a person if your thoughts are somewhere far away during the conversation. The ability to listen carefully is necessary to be a good friend, workmate, parent and spouse.
Keep a personal diary
Diary is a great tool to understand yourself, your problems and relationships with other people. You can not only keep a chronicle of events or splash emotions on paper, but also make sketches, record dreams, fantasies, dreams, goals, associations, fictional dialogues… During this exciting process, the contents of your mind, heart and soul will begin to unfold in front of you.
If you keep a diary long enough, you will be able to see the whole picture and discover the recurring difficulties, trends, guiding motives of your life. All this will allow you to make more informed decisions and see your way more clearly.